Finding Joy in….Being content

     Happy Monday everybody!!! It’s rainy outside today which only makes it the perfect morning to blog. The other day a friend sent me this article. The girl in the article who was found one day by a modeling agent, and who stood at 5’10 and 126lbs was told she was too fat to do runway modeling. – Crazy I know- She was given 8 weeks to lose weight. Victoire (the girl) ended up losing 22 lbs in those 8 weeks by living off of 3 apples a day and 1 piece of chicken a week. Leaving her at around 104 lbs! 104 lbs is light for a girl standing 5,5. This girl was 5’10!! Her hard work paid off Though. She got to model for some of the biggest names in fashion. As time went on and Victoire got more and more famous in the modeling industry she developed severe anorexia. When starvation wasn’t enough she turned to bulimia and laxatives. The crazy part was, when she got her pictures back, the editors would photoshop weight to her face so she didn’t look so malnourished. She says in an interview, “We lose kilo upon kilo so that they choose us, only for them to put it all back on as they see fit.”

   Victoire was making more money than she had ever anticipated. From the outside it looked as though she had the dream life that any girl would want. But inside she was suffering, depressed, and hungry. Victoire later quit modeling. She had had enough and wanted out. She regained the weight but at a cost.
   You see, when somebody suffers from an eating disorder their body no longer processes food the way that it should. So when the person begins to eat again the body doesn’t know how to react to all the food it’s receiving so it gains weight back at a rapid rate, which for a girl with an eating disorder can send her mind into a whirlwind of panic.
   When I started as a personal trainer I had one thing in mind: to help women who have ever dealt with eating disorders or body image issues.  When I was 18-19 I dealt with body dysmorphia . Meaning I thought I was way fatter then I actually was, and would obsess over it all day. I remember my first year of college I would binge with a huge breakfast! I’m talking pancakes, eggs, bacon, yogurt everything. Then I wouldn’t eat a single thing the rest of the day. I remember sitting in my dorm room one night so unbelievably hungry that I was just staring at this granola bar like it was my only chance of survival or something. But it wasn’t worth gaining a single ounce. HOW SAD IS THAT?! I was finding my joy in what I looked like, how skinny I was, and what others thought about me. (and I wasn’t happy at all). Not only was I starving myself. I was setting myself up for a lifetime of frustration. Due to starving myself for a full year my body gains weight now easier then most. It only takes a few cheat meals for me to see a noticeable difference in  my weight. My body is still recovering from the damage I did to it.
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This picture above is from when I started starving myself. I was about 115 lbs and standing at 5’7. I may have looked super happy but inside I was hurting and thinking “How can I get smaller?”
     And Just like Victoire I could lose as much weight as I wanted and I STILL wasn’t happy or satisfied. There comes a point in our lives where satisfaction and contentment need to be found in things other than materialistic things.
I stress to clients all the time that it’s so important to love your body at the stage it is in currently or you will never love it when you reach a goal weight.  I have to be honest with you all. I still struggle today with body image. It’s hard being a girl! We have social media throwing pictures of women who have tiny arms, chiseled abs, and defined legs at us.
My point:
The truth of the matter is most women don’t look like that. My ‘fit’ is different than your ‘fit’. And we CANNOT base our success off of somebody else’s body. It’s ridiculous when you think about it.
I want to leave you all with two verses I think really hit home with this topic.
God created us PERFECTLY and when we say things like “I hate my body” we are
literally slapping Christ in the face saying He didn’t do a good job. The creator of the heavens and the earth made you!!! THAT’S AMAZING!!
Psalm 139:14 “I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.”
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “Don’t you know that your body is a temple that belongs to the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit, whom you received from God, lives in you. You don’t belong to yourselves. You were bought for a price. So bring glory to God in the way you use your body.”
I’m not saying you aren’t allowed to want change to your body. If you want a flatter stomach or firmer legs that’s 100% OKAY! but when you let those thoughts consume your mind day in and day out is when it becomes a problem.
Today I am Finding joy in….
1. My own body and my own journey.
2. The fact that I am different than everyone else and there’s never going to be a girl who looks just like me. I am created uniquely and beautifully.
3. Understanding that healthy is more important than skinny.

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